He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3
Some people believe that when you are angry, you should just let it out—express it so it doesn’t eat you up or fester in there and give you ulcers. The truth is, when you “let it rip” every time you are angry, there are biochemical changes in your body that have negative effects on your health. In his book “Anger Busting 101,” Newton Hightower gives suggestions for those who want to get a handle on their anger:
- Stop speaking - That’s a good one! It may seem impossible at the time, but it’s important to just clamp it down when you know that nothing good is going to come out of your mouth.
- Stop staying – When you feel your “anger temperature” rising, leave the scene quickly and quietly.
- Stop interrupting – In anger, both people do this. It’s a good rule of thumb to follow. No interrupting.
- Stop cursing, name-calling or threatening – All of these things add steam to your pressure cooker and inflame your anger. There is a level of destruction caused when you do those things, and it is hard to recover a relationship with someone when you have disrespected them to that level.
- Stop slamming doors or throwing things – These are aggressive and intimidating acts that accomplish nothing except to make you look childish.
- Stop being sarcastic – Angry people don’t realize how much pain and hurt their sarcastic remarks cause.
- Stop sighing or rolling your eyes. – This used to be one of my favorites. I was proud of myself for not saying what I wanted to say (something mean), so rolling my eyes was my way of saying I don’t agree, but at least it wasn’t “bad.” Hightower calls this behavior “nonverbal explosive responses that generate a lot of hostility in the relationship.” Yikes.
- Stop lecturing – Even if you think you are helping the other person not repeat the behavior, lecturing can be demeaning, and it feels like criticism. No one wants to hear that!
Hightower says, “Abstaining from anger during the first few months is difficult and painful, but important. (He should know. He says he lost two marriages before he learned to deal with his anger.)
But the rewards that will come in your relationships and in your work life will make it worth the effort.”
*Would you consider yourself a person who struggles with anger? What will you do?
Dear God, I repent right now of the sin of anger and pride and wrong thoughts. Please forgive me and come to the throne of grace to find mercy and help. Thank you, Jesus!
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